Friday, February 20, 2009

It's Not Fair...

A few weeks ago...i was shocked when i heard that one of my friends will getting married. I mean, it was too sudden, considering she was planned to go back to Indonesia during her winter break "only" for vacation (*as i knew it clearly from herself). But then, that news came up. And not long after her marriage, i was getting more flabbergasted knowing that she wouldn't come back here to continue her study. WHAT WAS THAT ? Even I wouldn't just leave like that...at least i will pack up my stuff and say goodbye properly to everyone.
After doing some "investigations", i knew that, personally, she's never planned to do so. I'm started to think that her family "tricked" her. Asking her to go home for other reasons than marriage but then telling her to get married while she's having her vacation. Well, i don't know for sure, though. And then, i was even more shocked, knowing the reason why she has to quit was because she has to follow her husband who will pursue his PhD abroad. Well, i couldn't agree more that we have to be a good wife. But does it means that we have to throw our education out ? If finishing the master degree was my friend's dream...it means that she's just throw her dream out, rite ? Because of her husband. It's not fair, really.
Suddenly i remember back then we i had a long discussion with my father about marriage. I told my father that i don't want to marry the man who will draw the line on my activities nor my dreams. My father said that if i wanted it that way, then maybe before the marriage, i should write down some conditions (black-and-white-document-like) that my future husband must agree with. Hmmm...maybe i will do that, Dad. Just in case...

2 comments:

netta said...

naaaaaahhh... if you're friend didn't wanna get married, she wouldn't. since she married, it is clear that she wanted it. it's no more prehistoric era. and the equation was an easy peasy.

finishing master degree then go following her husband is also an option. and NO! i don't believe that even your family can push you to do something that you don't like. grown up people (marriage == grown up?) have to be have their own responsibility for their own life. i don't think your friend was a kid. so, it's her choice. it's NOT *only* because her parents told her so.

but, if it was a rare case, she was a siti nurbaya kind, i still say, she has to take the responsibility to agreeing on such deal. marriage is the toughest deal, anyway. you have to be insanely aware that you're getting married, instead of walking blindly.

=))

over n out.

bunga (馬莎莉) said...

Well, yes, i knew that she wanted to. But no need to rush, rite? Maybe she chose that because her parents insisted her so. But yeah, i guess you were right. Still, it's her choice. *Sigh*....marriage...