Higher Stage

Source : http://tinyurl.com/7qbnhvj

"Do you plan to pursue your Ph.D degree?", someone asked. Started from now, I guess I'll keep answering "Of course....I have no choice" XD. (*belagu amat gue. ini S2 aja belum kelar2 =)))

I always remember my father ever said like this, "You have to be better than me, Nak". Well, in my opinion, most normal parents would say so. Wouldn't they? But somehow, I can feel even deeper meaning in my father's sentence. A burden? Yeah..that one too. But actually more like an EXPECTATION. 

Honestly, I never imagined my humble-low profile father would ever pursue his Ph.D. Moreover, he successfully finished it in a mere two years! He's really someone, isn't he :D #proud? He never really aggressively intended to pursue a higher academic rank. That's why he felt like Master's degree was an O.K thing. But well, I'm not really sure his "driving-force" back then when he decided to pursue a higher academic rank. Let's say that the demand from his department or more widely Gadjah Mada University (GMU) for their lecturers are getting extremely high, hence he didn't have another option aside from doing so. I think I can conclude this as a causatum of global competitiveness. The one who failed to meet the expectations of global competitiveness, will be terminated.

The world is rapidly changing. So does the people who are living there; they need to change in order to be able to perfectly fit in.

Another simple examples are my siblings. I wouldn't forget that my little brother ever said that he didn't want to pursue his Master's degree after his college graduation. He just wanted to get married and work earnestly in his field of interest. How about now? He already enrolled in one of the private universities in Yogyakarta for his MBA. See? My little sister is no different. Although this is only her third year in college, she has tackled her required courses and still managed to get a scholarships from GMU (*tsk..tsk..tsk). Next semester, she's planning to conduct her KKN and then she'll fly to her long awaited country of preference to pursue her Master's degree. So, how can I not answer "Of course..I have no choice"? Haha~


All in all, I guess this sort of "forced by nature/family backgrounds" is a good-enough reason for me to run forward. Although I'm still kind of dillydally when it comes to the preference of my major, I guess I can see my goal clearly upfront. Yes, 加油! Bismillah...

Forgiving

Source : http://tinyurl.com/72eo869

Seriously, what happened to me these past few months? I feel like I have been REBORN!

I understand myself extremely well than else, and I know that I have a horrible trait. Vengeful. This bad tone of me can be severe, according to the situation I'm facing. But because I'm basically not a temperamental person, when I'm hating someone, I never express it through rage or violence. I just simply bury my hatred inside my heart or sometimes kind of snap my feelings out through my sharp tongue *_*. That's why sometimes I find myself feeling frustrated over things I've been burying in or guilty over words coming out from my mouth.

I know that I'm a melancholy by nature that seeks perfection, sensitive, secretive, shy, and thoughtful. But I also realized that I have a phlegmatic trait, such as sympathetic, understanding, dan easy going. I just previously felt that my melancholy trait was dominating towards the phlegmatic. Thus, I could be easily hurt by else's attitudes and emphasized prejudices. But this past two months, I really felt like these two traits domination has reversed. Don't get me wrong, but I'm not the one who felt so. My close friends were thinking the same. They said that I've changed; in a good way.


Honestly, I even astonished with my very own change-over. Started from my action that simply forgave other who consciously came late to the appointment; epic dazing. Re-joining the mailing-list I'd unsubscribed (*the reason why I unsubscribed was too hilarious); stupidly awesome. Seeing me doing this approval*** action against the person that made me unsubscribed from the mailing-list (*ooops XD)...was ridiculously amazing. Catching a glimpse of myself on the mirror when I was sobbing while reciting Qur'an...was even more bewildering. Well, I guess I have to get ready for even bigger SURPRISES from myself.

***

Thank you Allah for softening my heart. Thank you Allah for giving me a chance to be a better human being. Thank you, Allah...^^

Self-Sacrificing

Source : http://tinyurl.com/6tdnc3g

For the ones who knew me quite a while or even for a long period of time, they will know that I have a self-sacrificing trait. One of the simplest example of how self-sacrificing I am is THIS EMPTY BLOG XD.

Sad...so sad. I feel like losing half part of myself. Regardless how amateur the quality of this blog posts are, I still feel like losing it during my absence. But yeah...shikatanai yo ne~. Sometimes, we don't have another option aside from spare things we love to do for the sake of other bigger thing. 

So well, here I am. Ready to make up everything for my deserted blog. For whose sake? Mine :). Why? Because I need to keep sane; mentally sound. Haha~