Life Couldn't Be Better Than This

Source : http://tinyurl.com/7cuyr8p

Oh yeah...it's been nearly three weeks (*two weeks if I excluded my "jet lag" phase =p) since my homecoming. So, how's life? The answer is none other than L.G! Life's G.O.O.D~ :D! Alhamdulillah~

Today, -just like the other days-, I came to Islamic lecture in Masjid Kampus UGM. The sadly rather short discussion session with Ust. Syatori came to a sort of philosophical conclusion, -which was a nice one :). Here it is, ""GRACE" or "FAVORS" in something are the real treasures for someone who missed or couldn't get that particular thing". "Nikmat (terhadap sesuatu) akan terasa ketika (sesuatu itu) TIDAK ADA". Okay, let me give a ridiculously simple example. MASJEED. In Taiwan, there are only six masjeeds which are obviously located in some major cities. And guess what, there's no masjeed in Chiayi, -the sort-of-rural place I'm staying. Hence, I couldn't help but missed masjeed's atmosphere (*and things going on inside the masjeed, for sure) so much. This is what Ust. Syatori called "NIKMAT". So, once you get the real masjeed's atmosphere (*in my case is during my homecoming), it feels awesomely priceless! To be concluded, the inexistence of something for someone caused a particular longing feeling for it. If then later in the future we can manage to get it and feel grateful for that, we'll realize that it's A PRIMO. VALUABLE. 

I Feel Blessed

#fact = 600 mg painkiller couldn't chase away my asphyxiation during this kind of situation

I was just vaguely woke up after took a metamizole sodium and suddenly (healed) and feel even more blessed after found a couple loving-care messages from some friends. Seriously, I couldn't express my gratitude enough to Allah for giving me such an awesome friends like them :). Thank you Allah...

To be honest, I've no intention aside from "relieving my anxiety" through writing when I  composed this post, yesterday. Not knowing for what could possibly happened if someone read my post, -including some of my best friends there in Indonesia. And yeah...now I feel like I've caused a ruckus >,<. An emotive chaos. 

Truthfully, my feelings now are still somehow higgledy-piggledy. Campur aduk. But, regardless of how complicated my feelings are, I've locked up my decision. I won't waver. Papa...Mama...Bunga pulang hari Selasa. Ririt, Sunett, Nyu...I'll see you girls within a few days. #tiketsudahditangan

As an epilogue of this sort of blue episode, I would like to say that I feel blissful because I can sense the beauty of ukhuwah here in Taiwan. I really do. Thank you, dear friends...thank you...for everything :). May Allah will let us meet again in another part of the world...or in jannah.

"Ukhuwah Islamiyah is indeed powerful because it's not a mere friendship; it's a strongly tied connection in the name of the beliefs of our faith, aqidah".

A song from Dewi :)

All My Bags Are (Almost) Packed

"Nak, Papa sangat bangga padamu. Papa bangga Bunga berani mengambil keputusan seperti itu. Papa memahami kondisimu. Pulanglah, Nak. Masa depan terbuka lebar. Pasti ada hikmah di balik semua."

Even now, I'm still crying whenever I recall my conversation with my father by phone just a few hours ago. Believe it or not, I'm typing while crying. I've made one of the toughest decisions in my life. The decision I've been continuously thought over, these past 2,5 months. Going home without completing my study. Next week. There is no turning back. I'm 100% sure. All my bags are (almost) packed. Bismillah...

Personality Test; A Secret Weapon

This is my personality test result.
Ridiculously expressing my very self #whew

After doing another fad personality test*, I suddenly think that PERSONALITY TEST is actually can be administered in jama'ah. AHA~! #lightbulbstwinklingmoment

HOW COME? This idea is actually triggered by last week's "int.meeting" when my group was kind of dissecting "jama'ah's biggest flaws-slash-problems". What's that? Well, the problems are none other than COMMUNICATION and the person positioning system in every wajihah or wasilah (later to be called "ww"). Let's skip the first-capitalized problem which probably going to take 7 days to cut up. #smirk

At that "int.meeting", I was confusedly questioned about HOW or WHAT KIND OF METHOD being used to put every "int.member" perfectly in every "ww" we have? Is it only by seeing the previous track records of every "int.member"? Or else?

Honestly, here in Taiwan, I've found that some "int.members" were not precisely put in their "field of interests". This is actually THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS, because when the wrong person is placed in the wrong place...just wait until the disaster comes and swipe through everything. I know, this kind of problem keeps happening because there is not enough "int.members". Statistically, the ratio between the "int.members" and "ww" is lopsided; imbalance.

So, what's this post rambling connection with "personality test"? Hmm...IMHO, personality test can be used to dig deeper each "int.member"'s personality and preference. The similar example is a "placement test" before you get into your favorite English course institution. All in all, choose one trustworthy personality test and ask all "int.member" to fill it in. See the results/data and I think that'll make the person who is in charge to distribute "int.members" to all "ww" see the whole picture. Well...i think that'll do.

A Healthy Compromise

Source : http://tinyurl.com/7pshcol

Seriously, "compromise" is a word that has been dominating my everyday's life ever since I came to Taiwan. It's indeed a simple but profound word. In my opinion, the level of how profound it is to us, depends on our know-how to manage our ego. The better you hold down your ego, the higher compromise level you can get into.


With the shifted trait domination that currently happening to me, I find that compromising is an oh-not-as-hard-as-before thing to do. Although sometimes I can feel that my ego-slash-stubborn-sensitivity is seething to overtake my intention to compromise, but well...I can say that I'm getting good at it. I wouldn't say that I've mastering the art of compromising, because I know that I still need to work hard to be able to do so. But yeah...now I can "formulate" a bunch of "secret ingredients" to secure "a healthy compromise". 


Wait, a "HEALTHY COMPROMISE"? Yeah. Because IMHO, there's a MALIGNANT COMPROMISE. Just like "cancer" which is also known as malignant tumor, a malignant compromise can stress out the particular person who is trying to compromise the person(s)/situation he/she's currently facing. Why a compromise can turn out to be malignant? Well, there are a lot of possibilities and X factors. But mostly because it doesn't ended nor wrapped up nicely, in terms of the particular person still feeling burdensome after the process of compromising ended. Let's conclude that in order to do a "healthy compromise", we have to make sure that both parties are in a quite similar situation; satisfied.


All in all, do you want to know my "secret ingredients" to make a "healthy compromise"? I wouldn't care if you say "no" because I'm just going to blurt it out =p. Okay, here they are: 
1. 40% patience
2. 10% positive attitude
3. 10% self-reflection
4. 20% ability to highlight other's kindness/good traits
5. 20% conscience to maintain good relationship(s) with other(s)


I guess I'm not going to explain further regarding to those 5 points. Why bother calling it SECRET if it's meant to be thoroughly REVEALED? Haha~

Higher Stage

Source : http://tinyurl.com/7qbnhvj

"Do you plan to pursue your Ph.D degree?", someone asked. Started from now, I guess I'll keep answering "Of course....I have no choice" XD. (*belagu amat gue. ini S2 aja belum kelar2 =)))

I always remember my father ever said like this, "You have to be better than me, Nak". Well, in my opinion, most normal parents would say so. Wouldn't they? But somehow, I can feel even deeper meaning in my father's sentence. A burden? Yeah..that one too. But actually more like an EXPECTATION. 

Honestly, I never imagined my humble-low profile father would ever pursue his Ph.D. Moreover, he successfully finished it in a mere two years! He's really someone, isn't he :D #proud? He never really aggressively intended to pursue a higher academic rank. That's why he felt like Master's degree was an O.K thing. But well, I'm not really sure his "driving-force" back then when he decided to pursue a higher academic rank. Let's say that the demand from his department or more widely Gadjah Mada University (GMU) for their lecturers are getting extremely high, hence he didn't have another option aside from doing so. I think I can conclude this as a causatum of global competitiveness. The one who failed to meet the expectations of global competitiveness, will be terminated.

The world is rapidly changing. So does the people who are living there; they need to change in order to be able to perfectly fit in.

Another simple examples are my siblings. I wouldn't forget that my little brother ever said that he didn't want to pursue his Master's degree after his college graduation. He just wanted to get married and work earnestly in his field of interest. How about now? He already enrolled in one of the private universities in Yogyakarta for his MBA. See? My little sister is no different. Although this is only her third year in college, she has tackled her required courses and still managed to get a scholarships from GMU (*tsk..tsk..tsk). Next semester, she's planning to conduct her KKN and then she'll fly to her long awaited country of preference to pursue her Master's degree. So, how can I not answer "Of course..I have no choice"? Haha~


All in all, I guess this sort of "forced by nature/family backgrounds" is a good-enough reason for me to run forward. Although I'm still kind of dillydally when it comes to the preference of my major, I guess I can see my goal clearly upfront. Yes, 加油! Bismillah...

Forgiving

Source : http://tinyurl.com/72eo869

Seriously, what happened to me these past few months? I feel like I have been REBORN!

I understand myself extremely well than else, and I know that I have a horrible trait. Vengeful. This bad tone of me can be severe, according to the situation I'm facing. But because I'm basically not a temperamental person, when I'm hating someone, I never express it through rage or violence. I just simply bury my hatred inside my heart or sometimes kind of snap my feelings out through my sharp tongue *_*. That's why sometimes I find myself feeling frustrated over things I've been burying in or guilty over words coming out from my mouth.

I know that I'm a melancholy by nature that seeks perfection, sensitive, secretive, shy, and thoughtful. But I also realized that I have a phlegmatic trait, such as sympathetic, understanding, dan easy going. I just previously felt that my melancholy trait was dominating towards the phlegmatic. Thus, I could be easily hurt by else's attitudes and emphasized prejudices. But this past two months, I really felt like these two traits domination has reversed. Don't get me wrong, but I'm not the one who felt so. My close friends were thinking the same. They said that I've changed; in a good way.


Honestly, I even astonished with my very own change-over. Started from my action that simply forgave other who consciously came late to the appointment; epic dazing. Re-joining the mailing-list I'd unsubscribed (*the reason why I unsubscribed was too hilarious); stupidly awesome. Seeing me doing this approval*** action against the person that made me unsubscribed from the mailing-list (*ooops XD)...was ridiculously amazing. Catching a glimpse of myself on the mirror when I was sobbing while reciting Qur'an...was even more bewildering. Well, I guess I have to get ready for even bigger SURPRISES from myself.

***

Thank you Allah for softening my heart. Thank you Allah for giving me a chance to be a better human being. Thank you, Allah...^^