Third Love Letter: The Birth

Source: http://tinyurl.com/znorecv

Dearest Cagar,

On November 9, 2015, I went to do my regular check-up with Uncle Yudit in RSCM. Since your father was rather "busy" at that time, I went alone. I was in complete shock when Uncle Yudit told me that my amniotic fluid was only 6.7 in scale (a good amount of amniotic fluid should be at 10-20 scale; around 1000-2000 mL). He was kinda suggesting me to do partus induction AT THAT TIME. I was just stunned for a few seconds before finally answered that I didn't ready for that #hello..I even went there all alone #almostcrying. Since I've discussed about my partus plan with your aunt (*Mama Kiki) and agreed to give birth at Hermina Hospital, Bekasi where both of your aunt and her husband have their medical practices, Uncle Yudit then urged me to re-visit him at Hermina Bekasi on November 13, 2015.

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That Friday morning (November 13, 2015), I went to see my advisor at campus and asked for a-month pregnancy leave. After that, I went to visit Uncle Yudit at Hermina Bekasi accompanied by your father, grandfather (Aki Kurnia), grandmother (Nenek Eli), aunt (Bulik Ria) and cousin (Shaura). I was very anxious when Uncle Yudit told me that you must be delivered soon because my amniotic fluid had decreasing to 4.8 in scale. It was impossible to prolong the pregnancy. I must be hospitalized that night and got myself ready for the c-section procedure by the next morning.

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November 14, 2015 at 4.30 a.m., a nurse came to place an intravenous (IV) lines in my hand's vein. That was my first IV lines experience in my whole life, son. It wasn't as painful as I imagined though. Your father and aunt (*Tante Citra) had waiting in front of the operation room. We called your grandfather (Kakek Ijal) to ask for a prayer. Then I went inside by myself. At 5.30 a.m., an anesthesiologist came and injected epidural and spinal anesthesia to my spine #that was super hurt T-T. Then your aunt and uncle came to do the surgical procedure. It was kinda funny to vaguely hear "a spouse discussion" during procedure.

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At 6.15, you were born, son. I could vaguely hear "Dek, bayimu udah lahir ya. Itu dia nangis", said your aunt. Then everything was super blur and I went completely unconscious. I didn't realize something emergency came up. I will tell you a lot more about that situation on the next letter, son. 

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The most important thing is, I want you to know that giving birth to you was the happiest moment of my life, son. You COMPLETE me.

Love,

Ummi

Second Love Letter: When You Were In My Tummy

Source: http://tinyurl.com/zkgmnhy

Dearest Cagar,

You were always become a considerate and good baby since you were in my tummy. I didn't feel any nausea nor get any difficulty during my pregnancy. Well, that was excluding my weight gain, which of course made me a gigantic woman who couldn't move at ease #grin. I gained 16 kgs in 9 months, btw.

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Did you know that your father would always be gladly massaging my tummy with olive oil during pregnancy? Stretch marks are a nightmare for any woman, son. But well, now I couldn't do anything but sighing after seeing those marks are scattered here and there on my body after you got delivered #bitter. 

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I always felt a funny feeling when you were kicking inside. I always made sure that you kicked more that 10 times per day, son. I kept counting to make sure that you were healthy and actively moving inside. Started from week 26, I also diligently joined prenatal class at Hermina Hospital, Bogor. Your father always accompanied me and we would go somewhere to quench my food craving after that class.

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Let me tell you that you are a lucky baby, son. You have an obstetrician aunt (*she wanted you to call her "Mama Kiki" :)) who always kept on track on your health and mine as well. Besides, your aunt's husband (*who is also an obstetrician) was also generously giving help during my pregnancy. Another person whom I want you to respect is "Wak Icu". She is my cousin's wife who is working as a midwife in Cilebut. She played a huge role in making sure of your wellbeing during my pregnancy. I went to Cilebut once in a month to do my pregnancy check-up and also went to RSCM in Jakarta to do ultrasound scans with Uncle Yudit (*Mama Kiki's husband).

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Love,

Ummi

First Love Letter: The Waiting Is Over

Source: http://tinyurl.com/zzxwya6

Dearest Cagar, 

Ummi and Abah had been waiting for you to complete our lives for almost two years. There was a moment when I felt down when someone asked whether I already pregnant or still far from expecting a baby. Even my regular period could become a torture when it came just right in time without any delay. 

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January 2015, when I went home all alone to Yogyakarta for my little sister's graduation, somehow I felt that it would be my last me-time moment before you came. Two months later, I had two weeks late for my period. Then, I went to the drugstore and bought four different-brand pregnancy test kits (*well, I needed to make sure that result was valid :)). I was super exhilarated to find two lines on the first kit. My hands were shaken when the second, third and fourth kits were generated the same results. I called your grandmother (*she was just landed and on the way from the airport to Cibubur at that time) and father (*he was somewhere at the market in Ciputat back then) to deliver the good news. They were as excited as I did and wish for your wellbeing for the next 9 months.

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I will tell you a lot more…the ups and downs moments..during my pregnancy on the next love letter.

Love,

Ummi

Kusut & Metal = Baby Boy?

Source: http://tinyurl.com/nah9ycm

Yesterday, when I was at lab, I met several friends. The funny thing is, they said something similar, as in my face looked "crumpled" (Errr…not to mention that I've been through severe acne breakouts all over my face #blimey) or I looked too energetic for someone who's fasting #hahaha. One of them even said that I looked "metal" even though I wore gamis XD. 

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People say that a pregnant woman's appearance represents the sex of the baby she's carrying. For example, a pretty and glowing pregnant woman is mostly expecting a baby girl, while a crumpled-rocking pregnant woman is allegedly to expect a baby boy. Well..for me and my husband, boy or girl doesn't really matter; maybe because it's my first pregnancy. The most important thing is the baby is healthy, strong, smart and shalih/shalihah. 

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Here's the supplication we've been saying after prayers for the sake of our baby:

Ali Imraan: 38

Recipe for Healthy Marriage

Source: http://tinyurl.com/l2qpysf

I won't deny that I'm a newbie in marriage. I also feel like I'm adjusting to my husband and our marriage life in a s.l.o.w pace. But still, we've been married for almost two years, so there are definitely several things I've learnt from my marriage life. 

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If you were asked one thing that suited as a nucleus in a healthy marriage, what would you answer? Well, I would say FORGIVENESS. In my opinion, having a forgiving soul is a gift, but learning to have one is a challenge. When the couple have succeeded in tackling down that challenge, they will get closer to a healthy-happy marriage life. Note that the challenge should be tackled by BOTH couple. Things could go wrong if one tries to start tackling the challenge while the other tries to stop or run away from it.

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Marriane Williamson said, "Become more accepting. With every interaction, surrender any tendency to judge another person. Pray for a more accepting heart". MW is surely not a Muslim, but she's implementing the idea of FORGIVING, one of the most important Islamic principles in the horizontal human-to-human relationships. In the Qur'an (Al-A'raaf: 199) Allah SWT says, "Hold to forgiveness; command what is right; But turn away from the ignorant". In addition, Abu Bakr (may Allah SWT be pleased with him) says that "Islam emphasises justice and punishment of the wrong doers, but it equally strongly emphasizes mercy, kindness and love. Justice, law and order are necessary for the maintenance of a social order, but there is also a need for forgiveness to heal the wounds and to restore good relations between the people". Forgive your couple mistakes, put the bandage on your wounds, don't punish him/her with silence #coughs, and you'll be able to live a healthy-happy marriage life. Just like me and my husband :)

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(Married) Solo Traveler's Story

Source: http://tinyurl.com/ldqm6oa

During my solo traveling, I realized something. I'm married and shared my life with my husband. I'm someone's wife. A wife who supposedly accompanying her husband: fixing his meals, talking-conversing-listening to him and supporting him during his hard time at lab. But instead of doing those, I've been away for almost two weeks, immersing myself in my summer school activities (slash assignments) and drowning to the excitements of my traveling plan. I'm a bad wife.

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In the midst of my summer school in Uppsala, I happened to face the fear of nowadays people: disconnectedness. I have no idea why the summer school organizers put us in the hostel which has beyond poor internet connectivity in the country which promotes to have one of the best connectivity in the world! So yeah, I then couldn't connect to the internet as I pleased, finally have zero blogging productivity and zero ability to talk to my husband via skype or hangout. And experiencing that for two weeks was bloody sucked #horrible!.

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Today, during my second day in Torkilstrup, Denmark, I called my husband (*since the guesthouse owner has a super speedy internet connection #yeay!) and we realized something. It is R.E.A.L.L.Y H.A.R.D to be apart. I couldn't help but crying for missing my husband badly, so did he. He said he regretted letting me go abroad for 18 days. He just realized 18 days are too long. Well, my dearest hubby, you might not know, but I honestly never enjoyed my solo traveling. Being a solo traveler when you actually have someone to go along with, is dreadful! Seeing many lovey-dovey couples during solo traveling made me missing you even more. I always wish you were by my side...accompanying me...talking and joking with me...and enjoying our travel together. I'm officially missing you, mas!

--END--

1st Anniversary: Life is (not) just a bowl of cherries

Source: http://tinyurl.com/p45qyd8

It's been a year since I married him, my husband. Yep, today marked our very first wedding anniversary. Time flies, eh?! Do you think we have our anniversary celebrated? Nope, he's now still visiting his family in TangSel, and I'm still lying in bed (while stubbornly typing #grin) due to a fever dan cold #dizzy.

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I'm not gonna say that we've always been in seventh heaven for this past 365 days. There's sad and cranky moments, but more of joyful moments have happened. We're getting understand each other, we're getting good at reading each other's moods and gestures….well, we're basically getting cling on to each other a lot. 

                                       -----

Last time we have our conversation, my husband asked me this question, "How many percent do you think you've known me?". I was jokingly answered "85%". And when I asked him the same question, he answered "more than 90%" and I immediately revised my answer to "I'm 90% too", followed by his pinch on my cheek and our laughs.

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We might not be a perfect couple, but we're aiming to get closer to Allah every day. Reminding each other, supporting one another and promising to (still) be a partner after this world. Happy anniversary, my love :*! One year down…lots more to go :)

Rest in Peace, Kung...

Dramaga. Cibubur. Brunch. Text (from my little sister). Call (from my father). Re-scheduling (my English and Biochem classes). Reserving (any late plane ticket). Ririt. Luggage. Taxi. Damri.

In the blink of an eye, this feverish-red-nosed-watery-eyes-extremely-dizzy-very-sick woman was half-consciously sitting on her seat in the giant iron bird that flied her home. To Yogyakarta. Then Magelang. Eventually to her grandfather's cemetery. 

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I couldn't manage to attend grandpa's funeral ceremony because of my late flight. I couldn't see grandpa for the last time. I only found his wet, dark, and rose-scented burial ground. Serene.

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I couldn't believe that I finally went back home for an obituary. My grandfather has passed away. My heart felt the sudden grief, but also a relief. He fought his life-threatening severe disease for quite a while. Everyone sent him without dramatic tears. Stand tall. Strong. Rest in peace, Kung :'(

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"Sesungguhnya kami milik Allah dan kepadaNya kami kembali dan kepada Tuhan kami semua akan kembali. Ya Allah! Tulislah dia (yang meninggal dunia) termasuk golongan orang-orang yang berbuat kebaikan di sisi Engkau dan jadikanlah tulisan itu dalam tingkatan yang tinggi serta gantilah ahlinya dengan golongan orang-orang yang pergi dengan ketaatan kepadaMu".

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Abi, Miku, Shokhi

After arrived back to Indonesia on August 17 and been staying in Jakarta for more than a month, I finally came back home to Yogyakarta. Safe and sound. Alhamdulillah :). 

"Shokhi" in her new kaftan

Home is...my everything. And, the most 'attractive object' that simply lured me to come back home is this little girl, my niece. She is ADORABLE! I guarantee, you'll falling in love with her at the first sight and you'll fall for her head over heels after you see her 'entertaining skills'. She's now into learning new words and can directly parroting your sayings. Well, not enunciating your words clearly, but she'll pronounce them in her cute-enchanting way. Ha...lovely XD! Better be careful to say any word in front of her. As for now, she still couldn't pronounce her name well. Instead of saying 'Shofi", she always says 'Shokhi'. #ROFL

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I can always see a glitter of happiness in my brother and sis in-law's eyes whenever they hear their daughter says 'Abiku' or 'Ummiku' (abbr. 'Abi' and 'Miku' #ROFL). That's what I understand as a bless of having a child. Even the aunt's feeling can be this AMAZING, thus I  couldn't imagine a word beyond it that can describe parents' feelings. Subhanallah. I'm the luckies aunt on planet earth :)!

Life Couldn't Be Better Than This

Source : http://tinyurl.com/7cuyr8p

Oh yeah...it's been nearly three weeks (*two weeks if I excluded my "jet lag" phase =p) since my homecoming. So, how's life? The answer is none other than L.G! Life's G.O.O.D~ :D! Alhamdulillah~

Today, -just like the other days-, I came to Islamic lecture in Masjid Kampus UGM. The sadly rather short discussion session with Ust. Syatori came to a sort of philosophical conclusion, -which was a nice one :). Here it is, ""GRACE" or "FAVORS" in something are the real treasures for someone who missed or couldn't get that particular thing". "Nikmat (terhadap sesuatu) akan terasa ketika (sesuatu itu) TIDAK ADA". Okay, let me give a ridiculously simple example. MASJEED. In Taiwan, there are only six masjeeds which are obviously located in some major cities. And guess what, there's no masjeed in Chiayi, -the sort-of-rural place I'm staying. Hence, I couldn't help but missed masjeed's atmosphere (*and things going on inside the masjeed, for sure) so much. This is what Ust. Syatori called "NIKMAT". So, once you get the real masjeed's atmosphere (*in my case is during my homecoming), it feels awesomely priceless! To be concluded, the inexistence of something for someone caused a particular longing feeling for it. If then later in the future we can manage to get it and feel grateful for that, we'll realize that it's A PRIMO. VALUABLE. 

Higher Stage

Source : http://tinyurl.com/7qbnhvj

"Do you plan to pursue your Ph.D degree?", someone asked. Started from now, I guess I'll keep answering "Of course....I have no choice" XD. (*belagu amat gue. ini S2 aja belum kelar2 =)))

I always remember my father ever said like this, "You have to be better than me, Nak". Well, in my opinion, most normal parents would say so. Wouldn't they? But somehow, I can feel even deeper meaning in my father's sentence. A burden? Yeah..that one too. But actually more like an EXPECTATION. 

Honestly, I never imagined my humble-low profile father would ever pursue his Ph.D. Moreover, he successfully finished it in a mere two years! He's really someone, isn't he :D #proud? He never really aggressively intended to pursue a higher academic rank. That's why he felt like Master's degree was an O.K thing. But well, I'm not really sure his "driving-force" back then when he decided to pursue a higher academic rank. Let's say that the demand from his department or more widely Gadjah Mada University (GMU) for their lecturers are getting extremely high, hence he didn't have another option aside from doing so. I think I can conclude this as a causatum of global competitiveness. The one who failed to meet the expectations of global competitiveness, will be terminated.

The world is rapidly changing. So does the people who are living there; they need to change in order to be able to perfectly fit in.

Another simple examples are my siblings. I wouldn't forget that my little brother ever said that he didn't want to pursue his Master's degree after his college graduation. He just wanted to get married and work earnestly in his field of interest. How about now? He already enrolled in one of the private universities in Yogyakarta for his MBA. See? My little sister is no different. Although this is only her third year in college, she has tackled her required courses and still managed to get a scholarships from GMU (*tsk..tsk..tsk). Next semester, she's planning to conduct her KKN and then she'll fly to her long awaited country of preference to pursue her Master's degree. So, how can I not answer "Of course..I have no choice"? Haha~


All in all, I guess this sort of "forced by nature/family backgrounds" is a good-enough reason for me to run forward. Although I'm still kind of dillydally when it comes to the preference of my major, I guess I can see my goal clearly upfront. Yes, 加油! Bismillah...

Moved

I'm moved. Touched. Seeing my dearest brother standing like that while cheering up his students in one of the school's events, still looks MAGICAL to me *blowing nose. Life is definitely full of mystery. We will never know what will happen in the future. As for my brother's life, it is indeed full of surprise. Graduated, married, worked in one of the syari'a banks and ended up teaching in the nearby SDIT. Who would have ever thought that he will be a father at the age of 23? Who would have ever thought that he will turn out to be a teacher? Three things I MUST learn from him are a DECENT, REALISTIC and FULL OF DEDICATION's figure he's constantly shown. I'm so proud of you, dearest brother...I always do^^.

Finally, I would like to wait and see things await me in the future, as Allah already planned. I would like to stay khusnudzon to Allah for those things :D.

Shomay

It was exactly a week ago when I heard this sudden morning call "Mbak..Mbak..keponakanmu udah lahir lho". It was Astri who woke me up. "Hah? Apa sih, De'?", I was still unconscious. "Ini lho...Gema udah upload fotonya di FB", explained her. "HUH???", my eyes widened and I jumped out of the bed. Xixixi. Both of us were in Taipei at that time and I was kind of exhausted after a whole round of rally-discussion with let's-consider-you-know-who :D. Thus, after subuh prayer I was sort of blacked out =p. Nevertheless, who would dare to keep blacking out when you get that kind of thrilling news^^?

WAAAAAHHHHHHHH~~~^o^!!! I felt like dancing around and flew back home after I saw my pretty-healthy niece^^. Awww...she's such a cutie-pie. I called my father just right after that and it was the MOST tear-jerking moment EVER. True. I've NEVER HEARD my father's voice trembling blissfully like that. Hauuuu Y-Y....*sob. I was kind of imagined that my family had a magical moment there, waiting for our newest addition family member to come to see the world. Honestly, until now, I still feel blue because I couldn't be there. *Sigh (whose fault do you think it is, eh?). Well, no regrets. No need to.


Back to the subject. A few weeks ago, I asked my brother who my niece's name is and he answered "Shofiya Khalisa" (Shofiya : limpid/clear; Khalisa : a sincere girl). But then, he (and his wife) changed the name after had a long discussion with another family members. They considered "Khalisa" as a way too common name. Hence, they changed it to "Maysun" (= beautiful girl). Kekeke...^^. When I asked my sister how we would call her, she said she already has a nickname for her; SHOMAY. SHOFI + MAY = SHOMAY. Haghaghag =)). Shomay, welcome to the family^^. Until you meet your aunty of yours later, OK? XOXOXO :* ['Ammah Bunga]

Hi, my name is Shofiya Maysun. I'm Malay-Javanese-Arab-Indian baby girl^^

A Boy! A Girl! [BOTH!]

Conv. 1

B : Hey hey hey....gimana kabar Ivo, De'?

G : She's doing great, Nge'. Keponakanmu bakal brindhil kaya'nya.

B : =))...semoga ga kribo kaya' kamu dan Papa. Jadi, gimana hasil USG terakhir?

G : Hmmm...60 % cewek.

B : Kok 60 % sih? Istrimu kan sudah hamil 7 bulan. Harusnya jenis kelamin calon anakmu sudah jelas dong. Milly aja yang baru hamil 6 bulan sudah yakin bakal melahirkan bayi laki-laki kok.

G : Iye. Pasti Milly USGnya yang 4 dimensi, yang sekali USG sejeti-something. I can only afford 2 dimensional ultrasonography for my wife. Jadi ya hasilnya yang 60 % itu. USG 50 ribu kok minta hasil akurat.

B : NYAHHAHHAA =)) =)) =))

Conv. 2

B : Mil, how's ya doin'?

M : Bun'ka, I miss you ! I'm DOIN' GREAT. It's good to be pregnant again. When will you go home? It's already April. You promised to go home on February. My Mom is HERE. She's been staying at our new home since last year. She missed you too.

B : Ha-ha-ha *meringis pilu*. Send my hi to тетка Elena, Mil.

M : Errr, my Mom's name is Lenora, Bun'ka.

B : Oh...sorry, Mil Y-Y. [D**n, I even forgot Milly's mother's name].

Look how wonderful everything has turned out. Not only one, I will have TWO NIECE/NEPHEW! Subhanallah...life couldn't get better. Going home soon? Positive.


*foto dihapus karena tiba2 parno setelah diingatkan "fans" :))*

Wowed

Stupidly heroic actions of mine

It happened, again. "It" refers to the orangish title above. Without even reconsidering my own health issues, i went out to join a fund raising event at Chiayi Performing Arts Center in Minsyong. This week, i was crazily slaving myself at lab until i forgot to eat regularly. Thanks to my carelessness, my acute gastroenteritis tormented me this past few days. Yet, i kept forcing myself to go to PAC. Moreover, yesterday was raining heavily in Chiayi. Rain is always be my eternal enemy. I can't be under the down pouring rain. Unlike the regular flowers that will spring up beautifully when poured by an appropriate amount of water/rain, i will completely wilt with it. Such a peculiar "flower" i am.

On yesterday's event, we were planning to perform Saman Dance and sing Indonesian songs in order to raise some donations for the recent disasters in Indonesia. But, Allah never consented that kind of brainless act i've shown. Only 10 minutes before the show, my body couldn't handle anymore. I was powerless until i felt like almost fainted at that very moment, thing that never happened to me before. In the end, i was unable to do the Saman Dance and only messed up our Saman formation. Good job, Bunga...very nicely done. *sarcastic*

P.S : The good thing about being a valetudinarian is, i can clearly see the ones who really care about my condition. Thank you very much for DTT and Nidya who were patiently took care of me with their loving care :). May Allah blesses your kindness....

Banzaiiii!!!

I called my father just a few minutes ago and got this electrifying news. "Nak...sudah diberi tahu adikmu?", my father asked. "About what, Pa?", i replied. "Adik iparmu sudah isi, lho...insya Allah bulan Juni atau Juli tahun depan kamu akan punya keponakan baru", he added thrillingly. WOWWWW...TOKCER :)) :)) :)). I was THRILLED as much as my father and expressing my happiness enthusiastically until i coughed up phlegm all the time. Xixixi. Alhamdulillah...alhamdulillah...thank you, Allah^^....

Dropping Random Notes

Family news update
Bunga : Mama di mana sekarang? 
Mama : Di Bandung, di acara lamarannya Wilman. Sekalian tasyakuran kelulusan Icha.
Bunga : Ohhh....
Mama : Setelah Wilman, giliranmu ya, Nak?
Bunga : *^%%#@!

Ha--ha--ha *bitter laughter. I always call her in such an erroneous occasion. So, despite the fact that my family were flee to Jakarta because of the volcano eruption, they were still happy go luckily traveling here and there. And by the way, i just received a text message from my father that they are coming back to Jogja by today. He told me that the situation is a lot better. Alright then.

'Ammah (عمه) vs Amah (أماه)

OK, i must join the tatsqif class diligently. I mixed it up. 'Ammah defines as Tante in Bahasa Indonesia, whereas Amah means pembokat or bedinde. Speaking about 'ammah, suddenly i remember my cute niece, Atqiya. She spent her childhood in Tokyo and has been keenly learning English from her favorite show on TV cable aside from the school. I never realized she's very good at speaking English until i accidentally spoke to her in English as well. "See, Q-chan...look at her. She's 8 years old but has a slim body. Unlike you. You're only four but you're way bigger", i was trying to tease her while pointing at my sister-in-law's niece at the wedding hall. "Who said that i'm four? I'm five, Tante. Remember that, OK?", she replied, sounded very offensive. Ooops, sorry, Q-chan. Tante is surely getting old ^^". Oh yeah...i never forgot that she's aiming for the bride's tiara at that moment since she loves princessy thingy. "Mama, I WANT THAT TIARA, RIGHT NOW!!", she ran to her mother once she took a glance at my sister-in-law's tiara. Mwahahhaaa...Kikot was completely at loss because of her kid. "Haihai, Q-chan. Matte ne. Tiara-nya sedang dipakai Tante Ivo. Antri ya". Haghaghag...

I can hardly wait vs i can't hardly wait
Uh-oh. I've been mistakenly using the wrong expression this whole time. Thanks to this video (min 2:20) thus i can learn the correct one. Hmmm...thinking it over and over again, if we use the second expression, it means we are doubling the negative, can not and hardly, which is wrong. Tee-hee-hee. That's why we must use the first one. Nice.

Lab accident

My noisy advisor suddenly called me over to his office. "Just so you know, accident has happened today. A graduate student was unintentionally got her hands ran through the noodle maker machine, the one that you used to flatten your bread dough", he said. "The situation is a lot worse than we expected. The safety auditor has been checking up the whole food factory and it can be partially closed down by any moment", he added. Wow, sounds great to me. I don't have to go to the lab if the plant really is closed down. Xixixi...you wish, Bung!

Disastrous

I still remember i was in the middle of translating FORSEL's donation proposals when i read the heartbreaking news about Mount Merapi's huge deposits eruption. My heart swirled as i kept updating the news through MetroTV. Ya Allah...the situation was exceedingly spine-chilling. I'm not planning to review the horrific situation reported by the media all over the world here. Solely watching or reading the news, then we can sense the whole fear the disaster caused. 

[Source : somewhere at social networking site]

I spent almost half day panicking because i was unable to contact my family. Everyone seems completely forgot to charge their cellphones' battery or just left them elsewhere; not my father, my mother, nor my brother-sisters, including my sister-in-law. *Sigh. Finally around midday, i was able to get in touch with my sister. She told me about the whole horrors happened there and how horrible the situation in the neighborhood was. "Ini parah banget, Mbak. Sampai sekarang masih hujan abu. Mana tadi malam hujan deras, jadi abu bercampur dengan air dan semuanya berlumpur", she sounded very anxious. At 4pm, i can finally speak to my father. He said, all family members were heading to Jakarta. "Mamamu sudah di Jakarta sejak beberapa hari yang lalu. She always has a good hunch. Tante Pitmu bahkan sudah di Pontianak", he mentioned. "Mbah Kung dan Bulikmu itu lho yang susah sekali diajak mengungsi. Papa sudah ingatkan terus. Tapi tetap saja mereka belum mau bergerak", he added in such an uneasy utterance. WHATTT??? My aunt's house is in SAWANGAN which is only 15 km away from Mount Merapi. While my grandfather's house is located 18 km away, only 3 km from aunt's house. My father has done his best to pick them up this very early morning, headed to their places, but came back empty-handed. He wanted to wait for them but my other aunt who lives in Jakarta kept telling him to move to the west as soon as possible. "Kau usah nak macam-macam, Jal. Cepatlah ke sitok. Kau tak ingat ke iye bencana di Danau Toba, lengis semue. Tak ade manusie agik", my father tried to express his older sister's concerns to me. That's why he decided to do as she said. I'm guessing they are still on the way until now. Ya Allah, please protect everyone....

Then, when i was also checking up my-hard-to-explain-blood-unrelated other uncle, Pakdhe Fahmi, whether he has evacuated, he replied my text like this "Pakdhe dan Budhe sedang di Banjarnegara. Bapak dan adik ipar Budhe wafat. Do'akan husnul khatimah. Pakdhe tidak ingin hijrah ke tempat lain kecuali sidratul muntaha liqaullah". Hauuuu....i was failed to stop my tears running down from my eyes after read his text messages. Ya Allah....Ya Allah...lindungilah saudara-saudara hamba dari mara bahaya....

The Precious One

I love being organized, in everything. At home, i always be the one who responsible for the spick-and-span thingy. When i went home, i'm glad after found my sister, Citra, already replaced me for that home duty (*errr...kind of =p). Related to preserving memories, i always documenting everything as well, mostly doing scrap booking and picture taking. When the era changed, i realized that i'm no longer an avid scrapper. Pictures are the only visual representation of objects i've photographed in order to stop a moment from running away.

Addressing about picture taking, it can't be separated from the device to take it, the camera. My very first personal camera was Pentax ESPIO AF Zoom. I remember my cousin bought it for me from Bundesrepublik Deutschland as a birthday present (Hmmm...i guess she found it at the flohmarkt in Berlin or Frankfurt). The Espio is still somewhere at home. 

[Source : http://www.flickr.com/photos/93694546@N00/4380199683/]

Honestly, i'm not really that into technical photography stuff, considering i merely taking pictures as records. But of course, i have my own taste in the objects i'm targeting. Well, since i got The Espio, i'm getting more devoted in archiving my life's milestone through my camera lens. 

In connection with this post, the precious one that i implied is this picture :

I'm completely in love with this old days picture of mine. I hang this picture in my room and always giggles every time i look at it. The picture was taken when my brother was still 6 months old and i was three years old back then. It was in Jakarta, at Tante's house. My face looked very tense because we were sat on the wall. It was very high, i recalled. I was holding my blue balloon on my left hand while my father was tightly holding my brother on his stomach. The funny thing is, even though in the picture my brother's face seemed fine, he was scared to death. Thus, he was grabbing my skirt until my pants was disclosed [censored-unseen]. Haghaghag...such a scaredy-cat.

Sadly, after i'm leaving for Taiwan, this picture's frame glass was broken and the fungus was successfully invaded in. Hence, it became moldy. I was devastated after found it severely damaged :((. Moreover, I never have its negative film. I've tried to bring it to the photo studio to get it fixed, but after came to 5 different places, all of them said it couldn't be fixed. *Sigh. Luckily, my father took a snapshot of this picture before it was damaged. Well, despite the fact that he only took it with his cellphone's camera, at least i can still see it. This occurrence made me even more cautious in preserving my treasure.

What's New?

Came back home safely after two years living abroad and then headed back again to wrap up everything. I've done that. But there must be some or even bunch of things that i've encountered before as well as after the homecoming. Yes, indeed.  Like for example :

1. My brother never called me "Bunge'" again, he called me "Mbak Bunga" instead. Xixixi. It sounds weird at first, but now i get used to it. I guess he's trying to appear as a decent husband to his wife. Good boy^^.

2. I'm completely amazed seeing my brother already sit back at home before 6pm. Before got married, although he usually done his work by 4pm or so, he always goes somewhere else, whether it's to "Kandang Kelompok", where he puts his cattle on, or hang out with his friends. But now, he's like everywhere at home. Hahahaaa...can't hardly wait to see his wife, i supposed. Accchooo..!!! Typical newly weds...=p [*mencoba utk tdk sirik =))]

3. After subuh prayer, we usually recite Qur'an, doing homework, reading newspaper, watching TV or cooking. But now, it's very awkward seeing my brother have a morning walk with his wife. He even said "Nanti kalau sepedamu sudah dibawa pulang, kami ga jalan2 lagi, tp sepedaan. Ya Mbak ya ?"; considering we only have one bicycle at home. Mwahahahaaa...enak aje ! Mo pinjam Bugi, eh? Bayar dong :))

4. When we have our family talk at night, my brother never join us anymore. Of course he's with his wife. Once i asked "Gema kemana, Pa ?". "Sama Ivo di kamar", answered my father. Stole a glance at my "unsatisfied" face, my father said "Ya mo gmn lagi, Nak...dia sudah bukan milik kita lagi". Mwahahhhaaaa...we were cracked up together after heard him saying something like that. Hmmm...i guess my father is right :).

5. Pay an extra attention to everything related to UK [the real United Kingdom, not United Kantongan =p]. Set Taipei, Taiwan and London, UK, together on my cellphone's interface. It's not because my sister asked me to go to London with her this winter to visit her husband, but...hahaha...only Panda knows why i do this :)). Maybe i should ask my father what *ehmm*'s major to satisfy my curiosity. Haghaghag...*blushing


6. "Congratulations on your wedding and welcome back!!", texted my labmate. Huh? Siape yg nikah, coy? Then, i remembered that it's the impact of my joke to my advisor about mentioning "i will go home for the wedding". Aigoooo...*kena batunye

7. Diligently slaving myself at lab during daytime instead of nighttime. So far everything is good. Back to the diurnal cycle and never sneaking around at night sounds more natural. I love this new life rhythm. Befriended to nature with doing things like normal people does fun. ASSAAA...!!!

8. Officially resigned from the organizational activities i've been drowning into for this past two years. One thing that's left is conducting likok pulo and angklung performances for this Saturday's International Festival at campus. After it's over, i'll devote myself to my research. Bismillah. Ya, Allah....permudahlah urusan hamba....

In Between

Z : Bunga, apa sih yang bisa diandalkan oleh seorang kakak kecuali keikhlasan dilangkahi dan jatahnya diambil? Hahaha...jatahmu pasti ada :)
Y : Kok bisa dibalap sama adiknya itu gmn?

X : Oh, Gema anak ke-2 ya. Lho, berarti Bunga dilangkahin dong. 

Which one is the polite and positive comment? I guess almost everyone will agree Z comment is the answer. Considering my bicultural family background, i have to deal with various kinds of comments regarding to "being skipped by the young one" issue. I'm completely "sober" that the Javanese tend to disagree about the young ones getting married before the older ones. Moreover, if the young ones are men and the older ones are vice versa, the issue is undoubtedly even bigger. I've anticipated this situation since long long time ago and decided to be a silent person if anyone ever asked me that. It worked. I was merely smiling when anyone commenting this and that related to the issue. They never asked further questions after facing my zipped mouth.

The thing that i want to highlight is why would [most of] the Javanese do that? Is it even important to "hurt" people that way? Well, i'm not even sure that they are consider it as a torment, though. I guess it's just the nature of the Javanese. I always try my best to understand and be patient to them. I'm half of them as well, although my mother always tells people that only my face is Javanese while the rests of me are Bornean [Xixixi, including the jutek and straightforward personalities of mine]. The good thing is i have another 50% of Bornean blood running in my DNA. The Bornean tend to "give no s**t" to this kind of issue. The ones who firstly met their soulmates can get married first, no matter on which sequence of siblings they are, that's what they always thought. But hey, no matter what, i'm grateful for the diversity of my family. Always grateful....very grateful....