Is The Tassel Really Worth The Hassle?

It has been nine months since I sent my son away to Jogja. I never felt that time really flies, since sending him away is such an endless second-to-second torture to me. Not even once...until yesterday, after finally!!! presenting my research results in so-called seminar hasil penelitian, I couldn't help but thinking how time has gone so fast. I also couldn't believe that I've been doing this whole master's degree for almost NINE YEARS. N.I.N.E CONSECUTIVE YEARS, well…with around 9 month-leave-of-absent due to pregnancy and child-rearing period. Gosh…that is such a lengthy time for pursuing master's degree, isn't it? Even my dad was once teasing me, "If I were you, I would have received THREE PhDs" #ROFL. He said so because he obtained his PhD after only 2.5 years. His tenacity for pursuing PhD degree was pretty awesome though, considering he was not young anymore. 

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Third Love Letter: The Birth

Source: http://tinyurl.com/znorecv

Dearest Cagar,

On November 9, 2015, I went to do my regular check-up with Uncle Yudit in RSCM. Since your father was rather "busy" at that time, I went alone. I was in complete shock when Uncle Yudit told me that my amniotic fluid was only 6.7 in scale (a good amount of amniotic fluid should be at 10-20 scale; around 1000-2000 mL). He was kinda suggesting me to do partus induction AT THAT TIME. I was just stunned for a few seconds before finally answered that I didn't ready for that #hello..I even went there all alone #almostcrying. Since I've discussed about my partus plan with your aunt (*Mama Kiki) and agreed to give birth at Hermina Hospital, Bekasi where both of your aunt and her husband have their medical practices, Uncle Yudit then urged me to re-visit him at Hermina Bekasi on November 13, 2015.

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That Friday morning (November 13, 2015), I went to see my advisor at campus and asked for a-month pregnancy leave. After that, I went to visit Uncle Yudit at Hermina Bekasi accompanied by your father, grandfather (Aki Kurnia), grandmother (Nenek Eli), aunt (Bulik Ria) and cousin (Shaura). I was very anxious when Uncle Yudit told me that you must be delivered soon because my amniotic fluid had decreasing to 4.8 in scale. It was impossible to prolong the pregnancy. I must be hospitalized that night and got myself ready for the c-section procedure by the next morning.

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November 14, 2015 at 4.30 a.m., a nurse came to place an intravenous (IV) lines in my hand's vein. That was my first IV lines experience in my whole life, son. It wasn't as painful as I imagined though. Your father and aunt (*Tante Citra) had waiting in front of the operation room. We called your grandfather (Kakek Ijal) to ask for a prayer. Then I went inside by myself. At 5.30 a.m., an anesthesiologist came and injected epidural and spinal anesthesia to my spine #that was super hurt T-T. Then your aunt and uncle came to do the surgical procedure. It was kinda funny to vaguely hear "a spouse discussion" during procedure.

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At 6.15, you were born, son. I could vaguely hear "Dek, bayimu udah lahir ya. Itu dia nangis", said your aunt. Then everything was super blur and I went completely unconscious. I didn't realize something emergency came up. I will tell you a lot more about that situation on the next letter, son. 

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The most important thing is, I want you to know that giving birth to you was the happiest moment of my life, son. You COMPLETE me.

Love,

Ummi

Second Love Letter: When You Were In My Tummy

Source: http://tinyurl.com/zkgmnhy

Dearest Cagar,

You were always become a considerate and good baby since you were in my tummy. I didn't feel any nausea nor get any difficulty during my pregnancy. Well, that was excluding my weight gain, which of course made me a gigantic woman who couldn't move at ease #grin. I gained 16 kgs in 9 months, btw.

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Did you know that your father would always be gladly massaging my tummy with olive oil during pregnancy? Stretch marks are a nightmare for any woman, son. But well, now I couldn't do anything but sighing after seeing those marks are scattered here and there on my body after you got delivered #bitter. 

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I always felt a funny feeling when you were kicking inside. I always made sure that you kicked more that 10 times per day, son. I kept counting to make sure that you were healthy and actively moving inside. Started from week 26, I also diligently joined prenatal class at Hermina Hospital, Bogor. Your father always accompanied me and we would go somewhere to quench my food craving after that class.

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Let me tell you that you are a lucky baby, son. You have an obstetrician aunt (*she wanted you to call her "Mama Kiki" :)) who always kept on track on your health and mine as well. Besides, your aunt's husband (*who is also an obstetrician) was also generously giving help during my pregnancy. Another person whom I want you to respect is "Wak Icu". She is my cousin's wife who is working as a midwife in Cilebut. She played a huge role in making sure of your wellbeing during my pregnancy. I went to Cilebut once in a month to do my pregnancy check-up and also went to RSCM in Jakarta to do ultrasound scans with Uncle Yudit (*Mama Kiki's husband).

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Love,

Ummi

First Love Letter: The Waiting Is Over

Source: http://tinyurl.com/zzxwya6

Dearest Cagar, 

Ummi and Abah had been waiting for you to complete our lives for almost two years. There was a moment when I felt down when someone asked whether I already pregnant or still far from expecting a baby. Even my regular period could become a torture when it came just right in time without any delay. 

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January 2015, when I went home all alone to Yogyakarta for my little sister's graduation, somehow I felt that it would be my last me-time moment before you came. Two months later, I had two weeks late for my period. Then, I went to the drugstore and bought four different-brand pregnancy test kits (*well, I needed to make sure that result was valid :)). I was super exhilarated to find two lines on the first kit. My hands were shaken when the second, third and fourth kits were generated the same results. I called your grandmother (*she was just landed and on the way from the airport to Cibubur at that time) and father (*he was somewhere at the market in Ciputat back then) to deliver the good news. They were as excited as I did and wish for your wellbeing for the next 9 months.

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I will tell you a lot more…the ups and downs moments..during my pregnancy on the next love letter.

Love,

Ummi

Kusut & Metal = Baby Boy?

Source: http://tinyurl.com/nah9ycm

Yesterday, when I was at lab, I met several friends. The funny thing is, they said something similar, as in my face looked "crumpled" (Errr…not to mention that I've been through severe acne breakouts all over my face #blimey) or I looked too energetic for someone who's fasting #hahaha. One of them even said that I looked "metal" even though I wore gamis XD. 

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People say that a pregnant woman's appearance represents the sex of the baby she's carrying. For example, a pretty and glowing pregnant woman is mostly expecting a baby girl, while a crumpled-rocking pregnant woman is allegedly to expect a baby boy. Well..for me and my husband, boy or girl doesn't really matter; maybe because it's my first pregnancy. The most important thing is the baby is healthy, strong, smart and shalih/shalihah. 

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Here's the supplication we've been saying after prayers for the sake of our baby:

Ali Imraan: 38

Coming Soon

Source: http://tinyurl.com/nnxxm5l

Everyone agrees that the best gift a married couple can possibly get is a baby. Theoretically, I knew it too. But, practically, I always try to deny it…well, because me and my husband haven't had one. In addition, because we've been married for almost two years, the "pressure" of getting one is undoubtedly higher. 

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When the thoughts of "Am I really reproductively healthy?", "Is there something wrong with my husband?", "Should we finally consult with the gynecologist/andrologist about our reproductive health issue?" are filling my head, the miracle comes. I'M finally PREGNANT :) #woohoo! This has been my 12-week pregnancy. The nausea rarely hits, no odd-annoying cravings, just typical fatigue that is usually occurs during the first trimester. Wish me a happy and healthy nine-month pregnancy #thankyouAllahSWT #superexcited!

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Recipe for Healthy Marriage

Source: http://tinyurl.com/l2qpysf

I won't deny that I'm a newbie in marriage. I also feel like I'm adjusting to my husband and our marriage life in a s.l.o.w pace. But still, we've been married for almost two years, so there are definitely several things I've learnt from my marriage life. 

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If you were asked one thing that suited as a nucleus in a healthy marriage, what would you answer? Well, I would say FORGIVENESS. In my opinion, having a forgiving soul is a gift, but learning to have one is a challenge. When the couple have succeeded in tackling down that challenge, they will get closer to a healthy-happy marriage life. Note that the challenge should be tackled by BOTH couple. Things could go wrong if one tries to start tackling the challenge while the other tries to stop or run away from it.

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Marriane Williamson said, "Become more accepting. With every interaction, surrender any tendency to judge another person. Pray for a more accepting heart". MW is surely not a Muslim, but she's implementing the idea of FORGIVING, one of the most important Islamic principles in the horizontal human-to-human relationships. In the Qur'an (Al-A'raaf: 199) Allah SWT says, "Hold to forgiveness; command what is right; But turn away from the ignorant". In addition, Abu Bakr (may Allah SWT be pleased with him) says that "Islam emphasises justice and punishment of the wrong doers, but it equally strongly emphasizes mercy, kindness and love. Justice, law and order are necessary for the maintenance of a social order, but there is also a need for forgiveness to heal the wounds and to restore good relations between the people". Forgive your couple mistakes, put the bandage on your wounds, don't punish him/her with silence #coughs, and you'll be able to live a healthy-happy marriage life. Just like me and my husband :)

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Faithful Friends

“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.” ~Muhammad Ali

Yeah, friendship is not something I learnt from the teachers during the high school, but it is the one I found there. 16 years have passed, and we stay the same. Three of you are not only my best friends, but my faithful friends indeed. 

It's always four of us, now and then :')

Honestly, for these past 16 years, I've never felt any warmer than yesterday, in our super fun meet-up. I feel beyond grateful to have you three, now and then. Well, there were times when things set us apart…the crazy schedule, the distance, the misunderstanding, and other absurd "the"s. But from this now on, I don't think I will miss any meet-up with you three whenever I'm going back to my hometown. #promise

P.S: Thank you so much for all the marriage advices, Ladies :)! Since I'm the least expert in marriage than you three, I'll always looking forward to your advices! Can't wait to meet the three of you again, As, Nop, Da~ #loveyouall

Transportation in Denmark

Bicycles are EVERYWHERE

Denmark is the second Scandinavian country I've visited during my travel to Europe. Well, I only visited the Zealand though (to be exact Copenhagen and Torkilstrup). To be compared to Stockholm I've visited earlier, Copenhagen is more crowded with bicycle. No wonder, 50 % of Danes living in Copenhagen are biking to work or school. And guess what, biking Danes are so skillful with their bikes that they are trying to compete with cars or buses. #becareful

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With an integrated transportation infrastructures, Danes can easily change from one mode of transportation to others. Trains are available for 24 hours, connected to free wifi and providing bicycle carriage/car.

Bicycles are allowed to enter the designated carriage/car in the train

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Sweden's Food Waste

On the fourth day of my ended summer school, Mr. Erikkson who has been dealing with the food wastage in grocery stores research in Sweden presented his findings. Well, it is actually 'not so surprising' that Sweden's food wastage is enormous, just like other developed well-off countries. And guess what? Households waste ruled all (63% among other wastes):

Screencapped from Mr. Erikkson's presentation in GCUA Summer School 2014

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Swedes, Danes and Germans

Source: http://tinyurl.com/nju5uye

Finally, my summer school and stop overs hustle bustle have almost come to an end. Although now I'm still 'stranded' in Stockholm Arlanda, at least I have free internet connection and free time to blog #hurrah. 

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So yeah...these past 16 days, I've been traveled to three European countries. Do you want to know what is the most interesting part of traveling? Is it gaining new experience? Or embracing cultures? Or maybe the privilege of shopping for fridge magnets from the countries you've visited #grin? Errr...I would say no for these three things. For me, 'sensing native characters' is the most interesting message from traveling wisdom.

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According to my current experience, I would say Danes are amiable, helping hand and warm. Seriously, when I was in Copenhagen, I really thought I was in Yogyakarta. I felt myself like at home. Copenhagen is Denmark's capital city and I have this idea in my mind that people living in the capital city are mostly arrogant and ignorant. But Danes living in Copenhagen are completely demolished my wrong 'accusation' about metropolis people. During my four-day visit to Copenhagen and Torkilstrup, it happened a lot when I was lost or couldn't find my way to places I wanted to go. When it happened, I just randomly asked someone and ALL OF THEM (all Danes I've asked) answered my questions pleasantly...with smile...with a perfectly understandable English. Imagine you're a solo traveler, lost and confused in a strange country and someone opens his/her arms to help you**. How awesome is that?! FYI, one of the plus points of Scandinavian people is they speak English f.l.u.e.n.t.l.y.

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(Married) Solo Traveler's Story

Source: http://tinyurl.com/ldqm6oa

During my solo traveling, I realized something. I'm married and shared my life with my husband. I'm someone's wife. A wife who supposedly accompanying her husband: fixing his meals, talking-conversing-listening to him and supporting him during his hard time at lab. But instead of doing those, I've been away for almost two weeks, immersing myself in my summer school activities (slash assignments) and drowning to the excitements of my traveling plan. I'm a bad wife.

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In the midst of my summer school in Uppsala, I happened to face the fear of nowadays people: disconnectedness. I have no idea why the summer school organizers put us in the hostel which has beyond poor internet connectivity in the country which promotes to have one of the best connectivity in the world! So yeah, I then couldn't connect to the internet as I pleased, finally have zero blogging productivity and zero ability to talk to my husband via skype or hangout. And experiencing that for two weeks was bloody sucked #horrible!.

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Today, during my second day in Torkilstrup, Denmark, I called my husband (*since the guesthouse owner has a super speedy internet connection #yeay!) and we realized something. It is R.E.A.L.L.Y H.A.R.D to be apart. I couldn't help but crying for missing my husband badly, so did he. He said he regretted letting me go abroad for 18 days. He just realized 18 days are too long. Well, my dearest hubby, you might not know, but I honestly never enjoyed my solo traveling. Being a solo traveler when you actually have someone to go along with, is dreadful! Seeing many lovey-dovey couples during solo traveling made me missing you even more. I always wish you were by my side...accompanying me...talking and joking with me...and enjoying our travel together. I'm officially missing you, mas!

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Snake Fruit Goes Global: Challenges and Opportunities

Finally! This afternoon I'll be heading to Uppsala for my summer school #yeayforme #nayforhubby. Grin. I'm worried and sad leaving my husband all alone for the next 18 days, but I'm as well thrilled to attend the summer school #dilemaseorangistri. Nonetheless, the ticket is in hand, the schedule is set and the clock is ticking. Wish me luck.

This is the poster I'm going to present in the summer school

 (my husband played a HUGE role in the making of this poster #loveyou,hon :*)

Applying Visa To Scandinavian Countries in Indonesia (VFS Global)

My Schengen visa in Swedish

Earlier on Monday, I went to Kuningan City Mall to apply visa to Sweden. I know it sounds weird applying visa in the mall instead of embassy, but since June 25, 2014 the Embassy of Sweden has a new rule on its visa application submission. Actually, the embassy is still in service once a week to receive applicants (every Tuesday; 08.30-11.30), but it will take way longer (+/- 15 days) to issue a visa via embassy. However, if you go directly to the VFS Global which is located in Kuningan City Mall, you can get your visa on hand in three working days (if your documents are complete; medical travel insurance is the most important document). The faster service sure implicates in extra fees charged to the applicants #asusual XD. The Schengen visa costs IDR 1.000.000 and the service/logistic charge is IDR 326.000. As for me, because my sole purpose to visit Sweden is for study/education, I don't have to pay the Schengen visa fee #hurrah #swedenisawesome. Other European countries might have their own policies in the waivers of visa application fees. Hence, I only need to pay IDR 326.000.

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1st Anniversary: Life is (not) just a bowl of cherries

Source: http://tinyurl.com/p45qyd8

It's been a year since I married him, my husband. Yep, today marked our very first wedding anniversary. Time flies, eh?! Do you think we have our anniversary celebrated? Nope, he's now still visiting his family in TangSel, and I'm still lying in bed (while stubbornly typing #grin) due to a fever dan cold #dizzy.

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I'm not gonna say that we've always been in seventh heaven for this past 365 days. There's sad and cranky moments, but more of joyful moments have happened. We're getting understand each other, we're getting good at reading each other's moods and gestures….well, we're basically getting cling on to each other a lot. 

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Last time we have our conversation, my husband asked me this question, "How many percent do you think you've known me?". I was jokingly answered "85%". And when I asked him the same question, he answered "more than 90%" and I immediately revised my answer to "I'm 90% too", followed by his pinch on my cheek and our laughs.

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We might not be a perfect couple, but we're aiming to get closer to Allah every day. Reminding each other, supporting one another and promising to (still) be a partner after this world. Happy anniversary, my love :*! One year down…lots more to go :)

First mission: Colloquium

My colloquium ppt
(designed by my dearest hubby :))

"Alhamdulillah…all praises to Allah", it's all I can say. Another chapter has been through. Even though colloquium* doesn't sound like a deadly word, but having it experienced is surely awesome. A killer moderator lecturer, gives it a nerve-wrecking twist #grin.

Honestly, I typed and presented my research proposal in English not to impress the colloquium attendees, as almost all of them (particularly my classmates) have noticed my superb English ability #tongue. Moreover, nobody obliges the graduate students in BAU to type or present their proposals in English. The thing is, I'm pretty confident with my English ability, thus I'm almost always did my assignments or presentations (or even exams) in English. That's why making and presenting my research proposal in English is just an ordinary thing. Ergo, "excellent English and this is the best research proposal I've ever seen so far" praises by the killer moderator lecturer doesn't really surprise me; I considered the praises as a bonus for my hard work in preparing it.

I would actually thank my saddening Taiwan study experience as a series of events that moulded that very confidence of mine. I would never become like this without that experience. I would not step into so many challenging doors without that confidence. So, thank you…again :). First mission, accomplished.

*Colloquium is a presentation of one's research proposal before conducting a research. It is attended by an appointed moderator lecturer, academic/research advisors and fellow colloquium participants.

Two-semester Contemplation

Source : http://tinyurl.com/mdwykmu

This semester has finally ended. To be exact, it was dramatically ended just today with an online statistical analysis remedial exam #sweats. Frankly saying, I don't feel satisfied with my academic performance. This semester is basically quite similar with last semester. I remember that I was only performed as a typical student who topsy-turvied to survive from a red elimination zone***. 

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For your information, when you're enrolling to BAU graduate school, you'll be addressed as a "regular" or "trial" student. A "regular student" is a student who has previously graduated from the same major/department as the major/department being enrolled at BAU. This "regular student" will have two semesters to prove his/her academic performance at the enrolled department with achieving a minimum GPA of 3.00 at the end of his/her second semester. Whereas a "trial student" is the one who has graduated from the different major/department as the major/department being enrolled at BAU or a student who has graduated from the same major/department but lower standard university compared to BAU. A "trial student" only has one semester chance to prove his/her academic performance; it means that a trial student must achieve a GPA of more or equal to 3.00 in order to proceed his/her study in BAU graduate school, at the end of his/her first semester. I was being addressed as a "regular student" because I was graduated from GMU's Food and Agricultural Product Technology department which of course similar with BAU's Food Science department. Hence, this second semester is quite an emotionally stirring period for me. If my GPA (from this past two semesters) is lower than 3.00, I'll be forcibly kicked out from BAU. 

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For Better Or Worse (part 2)

It's been a long time since my last post (*let's consider 6-month blogging absence as an awfully long time for a reason so-called "gosh-i-don't-even-have-time-to-keep-up-with-an-appropriate-social-life-due-to-this-academic frenzy"). Yeah, that's a mere start. 

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As for this second part of "for better or worse" post, I would actually "share" a tiny part of my marriage life. Share also means documenting this past almost-7-month marriage journey in this blog. I believe that record and documentation are part of a good traceability system (*sok gaye yang mentang2 baru belajar food traceability XD). 

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Source : http://steadyflowblog.com/on-marriage/

So..yeah..after almost 7 months marrying this man, I would say that I still need some adjustments. Marrying Mr. Right who shares more than 80% similar interests with you, doesn't mean everything will work just perfect. Remember there is around 20% gap to be filled and adjusted (*percentage varies between couples :)). That's just normal when a husband wants his wife to meet his perfect standard, vice versa. For example, my husband is dying to make me ride my motorcycle slower-and-safely and talk/act less bitchy (judes in Bahasa Indonesia) to others when I'm in a bad mood***. The problem is, both are things that have been marked as "so me" and definitely hard to be reversed. But you know what, we call these hard to be reversed matters as "the art of marriage". In art making, difficulty and time never counted. An artist will devote his/her life to obtain his/her art-related dreams, as in a sculptor who can spend years only to make a piece of statue. So does marriage.

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For Better Or Worse (part 1)

Source : http://tinyurl.com/m7gwo7s

From the very beginning, I knew that marriage life is not only going to be filled with joy and happiness. When someone agrees to marry his/her precious one, there's a sacred vow behind that agreement to bear everything together. E.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. 

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Allah will test every human being HE created with HIS own way. Human never knows when, where or what kind of test HE will give. The only thing that human can do is preparing him/herself for any kind of test. The better he/she prepares himself/herself, the easier he/she can accept the fact that he/she is now being tested, then move on and figure things out. 

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40 Days

Outer 

Inner

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I recall me and my fuhus met for the first time at the end of February 2013, talked about marriage at the end of March 2013, met each other's parents on earlier April 2013, and he proposed me to my father on April 21, 2013. Everything turned out to be fast, smooth and easy....as I wished to Allah it would be. I hope we can "patiently" wait for 40 more days and "taking care" of each other in terms of not doing anything foolish or dangerously silly. 

"Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet". 

(Jean-Jacques Rousseau) 

P.S : Now I know why when two opposite sexes are attracted to each other and felt "lock and key" as in "destined or meant to be together", the only answer to "make everything right and blessed" is the MARRIAGE. Only MARRIAGE....not elses. #pengalamanpribadi